The summer is fast approaching so if you haven’t already you should discuss the arrangements for contact with your children over the summer holidays.

Many separated couples are able to agree the arrangements for the absent parent to have contact with their children on a regular basis throughout the year and the specific arrangements for contact over the extended summer school holidays.

Unfortunately some separated parents are unable to agree the pattern of contact and if you are one who has yet to firm up the arrangements over the summer holiday you must start thinking about it now.

If you want contact with your children during the summer and your ex partner says no or is offering less contact than you would like you should seek legal advice.

The first step is always to try to reach an agreement directly with the other parent but if that is unsuccessful you should seek legal advice.

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Our Francine Bristo offers some guidance on helping your child through separation

Separation is difficult for everyone including children.  It is hard to parent when you are struggling with your emotions.  There is information and support out there, be kind to yourself and get help where you need it.  It is important to look after yourself.  Life will be difficult for a while but there is lots you can do to reduce the impact of the separation on your children.  Co-parenting is hard but it is so very worthwhile.  When parents co-parent their children well the outcomes are better for everyone.

Maintain a working co-parenting relationship with your ex and avoid exposing your children to conflict.  Being patient, offering repeated reassurance and a listening ear can make a huge difference at this uncertain time.  Keep the comfort of routine where possible.

When telling the children about the separation prepare what you will

Our Amy Trevellick shares some advice for those who are newly separated or divorced this Christmas.

For many people, Christmas is a particularly special time of year. Spending time with their loved ones, and seeing glee on their children’s faces as they open their presents on Christmas morning. But for others, Christmas can put a huge strain on their relationship and you may find yourself dreading spending another Christmas at home with your partner or spouse.

It is of course, commonly said that January sees a “divorce boom”. The press has even coined the first working Monday of January “National Divorce Day”. But what is the reality of a divorce, and could you see yourself spending Christmas 2021 as a single person?

One of the most rewarding things about being a family lawyer, if not the most rewarding, is to see my client’s go through the journey and come out the other end

Christmas is not that far away so if you haven’t already you should discuss the arrangements for contact with your children over the Christmas holidays.

Many separated couples are able to agree the arrangements for the absent parent to have contact with their children on a regular basis throughout the year and the specific arrangements for contact over the Christmas and New Year period.

Unfortunately some separated parents are unable to agree the pattern of contact and if you are one who has yet to firm up the arrangements over Christmas you must start thinking about it now.

If you want contact with your children over Christmas and your ex partner says no or is offering less contact than you would like you should seek legal advice.

The first step is always to try to reach an agreement directly with the other parent but if that is unsuccessful you should seek legal advice.

Every case

Our Francine Bristo deals with the importance of discussing financial matters with your partner or spouse.

Most couples don’t make the time to have a conversation about the finances because it can lead to increased tension and arguments.  Money is emotional, evoking feelings of shame, fear, anger and frustration.  It is no wonder that people avoid talking about money and what would happen in the event of their relationship ending.  Ignoring these issues whilst they are small however, allows them to grow into larger problems.  There is nothing worse than dealing with the emotion of money combined with the emotion of separation.   It is better to discuss the finances and what would happen if you were to separate whilst you are on good terms.  Conversations help avoid misunderstandings and later upset.  It is useful for everyone to clarify the terms of your financial relationship so that you each understand the expectations,

Our Francine Bristo considers how best to tell the children you are separating.

During separation most children feel powerless finding themselves forced to accept change in which they have had no say.  Children find it hard to raise the subject with their parents but they want to be consulted and listened to.

Children usually want to know why their parents are separating.  Set aside some time to tell the children together at home if possible.  Reassure and repeat.  Think carefully about how you will explain this to them, saying that you no longer love each other could cause the child to worry that their parents may stop loving them too.  When discussing the separation with your children it is important to make clear that it is an adult decision and the child is not responsible.  Children benefit from being told that it doesn’t mean that it will change their relationship with each

The divorce rate amongst older couples, the so called Silver splitters, is growing year by year.

There are many reasons for this.  First, people are living longer and are expected to be in good health well into their later years.  The whole ‘in sickness and in health, til death do us part’ promise can suddenly seem like a lengthy commitment.  Financial security is also an issue.  There are new rules which allow people to cash in their pension pots on retirement and so some couples may not feel compelled to stay together because it’s too complicated to separate.

Many couples wait until their children become independent before they choose to separate but it is still important to think about the impact on your children even though they are now adults.  You may not need to discuss contact arrangements but it is still important to be amicable and to shield them from disagreements. The

Some kind words from Mr H for our Francine Bristo and Amanda Weaver at our Rugby office

“I honestly can’t thank you and Amanda enough for everything you have done, especially for my relationship with my children”.