Children and Separation

Our Francine Bristo considers how best to tell the children you are separating.

During separation most children feel powerless finding themselves forced to accept change in which they have had no say.  Children find it hard to raise the subject with their parents but they want to be consulted and listened to.

Children usually want to know why their parents are separating.  Set aside some time to tell the children together at home if possible.  Reassure and repeat.  Think carefully about how you will explain this to them, saying that you no longer love each other could cause the child to worry that their parents may stop loving them too.  When discussing the separation with your children it is important to make clear that it is an adult decision and the child is not responsible.  Children benefit from being told that it doesn’t mean that it will change their relationship with each parent.  Children are interested in the practical arrangements and how things will work short and long term.

Children benefit from the stability and continuity of remaining in the family home where this is possible and the same school during this period of change.  Give permission for the child to love the other parent and keep the financial issues away from the children.  Do consider friends and wider family as a source of support for your children they can be of real benefit to the children.

If you would like some initial advice please contact us;

Rugby office -

Daventry office –

Southampton office -

Birmingham office -