There is no such thing as a typical divorce, any more than there’s any such thing as a typical couple or a typical child, so there is no magical formula for making co-parenting work. There are, however, some general truths to which divorcing parents should adhere to give themselves and their children the best chance of getting through the split unscathed:

Be present for your children. This is the golden rule. Be there physically and be there emotionally. Build a routine around them and devote yourself to being actively engaged with them in the time that you’re together.

Be honest with your children. Show them that you understand that they’re being affected by the divorce, they also need reassuring that they’re still loved and won’t be abandoned, either physically or emotionally. Encourage them to talk about how they feel. If you can do this together as a family, all the better.

Be wary